Things my Savior taught me while healing spiritual wounds

Shame kept me from taking my spiritual wounds to God. Then my Savior—who overcame all things—gave light in small pieces until He set me free.

Beautiful artwork by Sabrina Paredes @sabrina_creates_

At first, it's like stumbling in darkness. Then, small glimpses of light:

My situational anxiety at church is a symptom of a deeper problem. Something is broken and needs to heal.

I can be curious about negative feelings, rather than try to numb, fix, or run. What does my Savior want me to understand?

I can come boldly to the throne of God with questions.

Jesus isn't uncomfortable with discomfort at church. He can handle it.

He descended below all things.

As I lean into His light, He answers me freely:

The shame you feel comes from those who shamed you—not God.

The fear you feel comes from lumping past abuse with current imperfect situations. You mind hasn't yet learned how to distinguish between the two.

The anxiety you feel is a sign that you're ready for change.

The love you feel at church tells you you're still in the right place.

Then comes beautiful change:

EMDR therapy untethers shame, fear, and faulty thinking from belief.

My Savior's words create new patterns of thinking: "Relationships at church don't need to be perfect. You don't have to prevent every small, insignificant human conflict. For imperfection there is room."

His yoke lightens my load. "See that hill?" He says, carrying the heaviest part. "YOU are getting stronger. We're going to do this again."

We do, and the past starts losing its power.

New patterns of thinking take root more firmly. Behavior follows, too.

I have my agency again. Jesus Christ has set me free.

No longer only a victim—I'm a survivor of spiritual abuse.