What a good shepherd taught me about mentoring teens

What our Good Shepherd teaches us about ministering in His way.

"Does anyone know anything about 'Good Shepherds?'"

That was my segue into John 10:1-18. A student raised his hand and answered.

"They gather their sheep at the gate of an enclosure, then check for the day's wounds before sheltering them at night.”

That was many years ago, but my throat still catches when I think of it.

As my student shared how shepherd's minister to each sheep one by one, a clear thought came: your home is full of “at the gate” moments with your teens.

Except, lately, it hadn’t been.

Instead of a "good shepherd’s" gate, our interactions had felt more like airport security screenings. After that day in class, I stopped searching for red flags for church gossip in passing moments with my kids. Instead, I looked for wounds. Knowing I still wasn't sure how to effectively minister to them, I figured the first step was becoming more aware.

Before we get to that, here are some basic facts about sheep, shepherds, and hirelings:

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Sheep are...

• prone to wander

• easily lost

• emotionally complex

• herd dependent

• known to follow other sheep into dangerous situations

• capable of long-lasting bonds with humans

• willing to trust and follow the voice of their shepherd

• better off with shepherds than hirelings

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Hirelings are...

• hired contract workers (their relationship with the sheep is only temporary)

• movers of sheep, not shelterers (no nightly wound tending)

• drivers from the rear with fear (otherwise, no sheep would follow them)

• the first to flee when there's danger (once terms no longer benefit them)

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Good Shepherds are...

• owners of sheep (long-term relationships)

• shelterers at night (protecting from predators)

• trusted by sheep (they lead with their voice at the front)

• willing to lay down their life for sheep when wolves come

  
  

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From that, one thing is clear—shepherds know their sheep.

Though they may expect dumb behavior at times, it’s obvious shepherds still give sheep room for decision-making.

They don’t pen their sheep 24/7.

This brings us to wounds.

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Things shepherds do (and don't do) while tending wounds

Things shepherds don't say to confused, lost, or wounded sheep...

• "You followed Fred?"

• "What were you thinking!"

• "Do you know what could have happened?"

• "Who's going to pay for this?"

• "Say something!"

Things good shepherds might say...

• "Are you okay?"

• "That must have been scary!"

• "What happened next?"

• "I can see why it was hard to know what to do."

• "Considering all that's happened, you must have concerns."

• "What's stressing you now?"

• "You don't have to feel this way forever."

• "There's a plan in place for things like this."

• "Learning from mistakes and moving forward with confidence is possible with Jesus Christ."

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That was my Good Shepherd ministered to me.

In case you're wondering, He can do it for you.

It's never too late.

He knows all things.

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